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I Rant, Therefore I Am

Publisher: Crown Forum • 2001 • 224 pages

The third entry in Emmy-winning Miller’s witty and cynical ranting series (after The Rants and Ranting Again) features 53 monologues, an armada of satirical projectiles. Beginning each fast-paced session with the line “Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here” and closing with “Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong,” Miller touches on everything from affirmative action to bad taste.

He also weighs in on capital punishment, college (“the last convenience store before the desert of responsibility”), consumerism, cops, country music (“Branson, Missouri… where plastic pink flamingos migrate for the winter”), the death of eccentricity, doctors (“When you’re not insured, doctors act like you’ve got some kind of a disease or something”), the end of privacy, fear of flying (“Every flight I’m on there’s a screaming baby. Me”), Jerry Springer (“the Yoda of Daytime”), network news, the Oscars, paranoia, talk radio, taxes, workaholics (“power-suited desk jockeys”) and wrestling (“To call pro wrestling a sport is akin to calling… Hillary Clinton a New Yorker”).

All in all, the volume makes it clear why Miller’s fans chant “The rants, the rants, the rants!” when he walks onstage, they’re fun and smart. Even so, in future publications Miller might consider including transcripts from some of his show’s incisive celebrity interviews. Of course, that’s just our opinion. We could be wrong.

Book Review from Publishers Weekly

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